On music, youth and suicide

I’m sure we all agree that childhood and teenage years are a crucial time in everyone’s live. It’s when friendships are formed and confidence is built. It’s when we study, travel, party, get first boyfriends/girlfriends and begin creating our future. Most of young people can count on their parents to help them navigate through life and decide what they want to do. However, parents opinion can become redundant when a sudden passion or a new sense of purpose takes over. We all have heard stories about young people ending their lives. Their decision usually comes as a complete shock, which fills out hearts with disbelief and overwhelming sadness. Different circumstances drive people to this drastic decission. It could be a result of stress, exhaustion, depression, loneliness or the feeling of not fitting in. Everyone is unique and has a unique ability to deal with situations life throws at us.

However, when it comes to music industry it can be extra hard!

Being a young artist, you are more prone to the influence and opinion of others. Also, there is the strong need for being liked and accepted for who you are. Being an artist provides a ‘’perfect’’ platform for that. The price of being successful is huge. Depending how early they start, artists might miss out on a carefree youth, which is the best pathway to a happy adulthood. The precious childhood and teenage years are wiped out to make a space for hard work, success and often isolation. You live to produce, perform and sell more records. Once you prove to be good at what you do, there is no stopping there – everyone wants to be a part of your success story. It takes strength of character, wisdom and determination to know when to slow down or stop all together. Young people don’t know themselves well enough to know their own limits or how to prioritise things in their life.

Is there anything we adults can do in supporting young people in reaching their full potential? How can parents, teachers and curators help them follow their dreams and live their lives without any regrets? Well, the answer is surprisingly simple. The change needs to start at home, in our households, schools and communities. 

We need to teach our children to talk about their feelings and help them understand that it’s OK not to be OK !

I know – it takes a real courage to show our feelings. Emotions are present in everyone’s life but it’s not just the good ones that we should show to the world. Building the habit of talking about how we feel is so important. This is the first step in making a difference in our fight against soaring suicide rates among adolescence.

Our children are our future. We teach them how be brave, dream big and look after our planet. We should also teach them how to respect one another, express their feelings and not give in to bullying. These topics are especially important now when accessing our mental health services can be a real challenge. Our kids are our world but they are also the victims of budget cuts in healthcare, increase of poverty and the soaring demand in accessing mental health services. They are the victim of huge understaffing of mental health nurses in schools but at the same time are subjected to a regular exam pressure!

Also, let’s not forget that vast majority of today’s adults had the privilege of growing up in times free from destructive impact of social media. Latest figures show that only 30% of children with mental health issues get treatment in the UK.  Let’s face the fact that suicide among youth is our new sad reality – a reality that affects thousands of families and communities every year.

Change needs to be big, but it can start small. Let’s use the power of social media to talk about our feelings and struggles. Let’s focus on prevention by sharing our experiences and our lessons with one another. 

October is a month of mental health awareness. Let’s stop for a second and take some interest in the lives of others who might seem OK on the outside. What’s going on inside is often a different story.

Breaking the stigma and building a better awareness is the first step and we can all take part in that.

Six simple ways of improving your love life

Love means different things to different people. We all want it and need it. We love that warm feeling inside love gives us.

When love is present in our lives  we feel happy, content and positive -nothing seems impossible. When it’s missing we feel lost and vulnerable. But does it have to be so black and white? Is it possible to find your sweet spot and stay there? How do we stay more balanced and less affected when our circumstances change? 

The answer is : YES, it is possible! Below there is a few ideas on how. 

1. Know and love yourself first 

As we go through life we often don’t have time to get to know ourselves. Our dreams, fears and desires often comes to the surface in situations where we are being tested by life. We become so much wiser later in life. Once we get to know ourself, it’s easier to understand our partner. It’s also easier to understand the dynamics of our romantic relationships.

One way to become happier in life is to love and be kind to yourself. Not give up who we really are and loose ourselves in a relationship. So don’t give up your hobbies, your friends and things you did for fun when you were single. If you do, your dreams will come back and haunt you, reminding you of your bigger purpose on this planet.

2. Work on yourself and remain attractive for your partner

The most important relationship you can build in your life is the one you have with yourself. There is unlimited love, power and strength inside you. You just need to learn how to access it. It’s completely achievable – I know it from my own experience. Once you tap into your inner power you can build the most joyful, happy and balanced connection with your partner -one where you are both independently fulfilled and happy. You enjoy the amazing togetherness where you positively contribute to each other’s lives instead of subjecting your loved one to over reliance. That’s when magic really happens.

3. Learn to communicate effectively

Sometimes, when you have been together for a while you might feel like things are becoming a bit stale and you start drifting apart. It’s natural and most people feel like this. The excitement that was present at the early stage of your relationship is gone and reality kicks in. This could make you feel disappointed, discouraged or sad. Suddenly, you have a flashback of your last break up. The warm, fuzzy feeling of being in love is gone. That’s when most couples come to terms with the fact it will take some work. Open and honest communication is what can prevent painful arguments and misjudged expectations. Nobody is a mindreader – not even your beautiful girlfriend or a smart boyfriend. 

It’s your job to express your feelings, fears and expectations. It’s not their job to guess them, despite the ‘’mystical connection’’ that you believe the two of you have. So define your observations and explain how your partner’s behaviour makes you feel. Communicate how you want things to change. Be calm, patient and positive.

4. Keep things fresh and fun

This is so so important guys! Find time to do fun things with and without your partner. Never neglect this part! Make time to go out as a couple. Dress nicely and make an effort. Go to new places, make friends, get a new hobby or improve on your current one. You need to stay fresh and attractive for yourselves and your partner. Even if you are single you should do it. The results will be visible in your confidence levels and in your wellbeing. Your work results will improve. Your partner will find you more attractive and not take you for granted. And they might be more inclined to follow the same path : -)

5. Change your mindset = Change your life

We humans associate certain experiences and situations with positive and negative memories from our past. Our thoughts and emotions are closely interlinked and form patterns of behaviour. The longer we live the more established these patterns become. This is because we think, feel and experience things every day. Our thinking creates our mood and our mood creates our mindset. This is why it’s so important to think positively as a negative mindset can hold us back from living a happy life!

So, in order to form new positive thoughts patters try thinking differently about your partner and your relationship. Learn about common causes of issues between couples. Learn how relationships function and the differences between women and men. Instead of complaining or demanding an instant improvement from your partner, include some logic and a bit of a scientific approach to your life. This will open your heart to experience more love.

6. Don’t be shy and ask for help

Life is a bit*h they say. Nobody is immune to work stress, commute stress, lack of sleep, bills pilling up, latest flu bug or the pressure you are under when your child is ill. You are not a superhero and neither is your partner. The sooner you accept it the better for you. Don’t sit and complain how tuff you’ve got it. Think about practical solutions. Can you drop off the kids to your mum’s and finish your work? Book a nanny and go out for a romantic dinner together? Learn to meditate to sleep better or perhaps read something informative/funny to make your work commute less stressful? These minor adjustments can make a huge difference to the quality of your everyday life.

‘’If you always do what you’ve always done, you will always get what you’ve always got’’ – Einstein

5 biggest myths about love and relationships

Building a stable and lasting relationship is not a simple task. In fact you don’t just get one – you create one. It might start from a physical attraction but that stage doesn’t last very long. Soon after, it becomes all about effective communication, respect and crucial down time. Love is in us and all around us, yet there are so many misconceptions about it. 

Most people’s idea of love is based on what films they have watched as a kid. Based on my experience the biggest myths about love are:

1. Once you find ”THE ONE” your job is done

When you are young and easy to influence, you absorb information first (from books, films and interactions with others) and form our opinions as second – exactly in this order. And so, it’s only natural that you form the basis of you relationships on the experience acquired over the years. When you are single you are likely to feel lonely at times. You might think that your life is so miserable, it can’t get any worse. You think that finding the right person is the solution/a magic formula to all your life problems. It will change everything and give you eternal happiness. Sadly it doesn’t work like that. Finding your partner is the beginning, not the end. This is where the work starts. And it will take work to make it survive. Many of us learn that later in life when experiencing relationship problems.

2. Your partner’s role is to make you happy

Another common myth. You are responsible to make yourself happy as nobody else is able to. You can’t rely on external people for your happiness as you can’t control them. As soon as they are gone, your happiness is too! So, (and this is a very important bit) be happy before you get in a relationship. If you are unhappy you will attract unhappy people. We all need to learn to love and respect ourselves so we can love and respect others. By understanding our dreams, fears and needs, we are able to  build a healthy set of expectations. Only when you become happy and acceptant of yourself you can contribute positive things to your relationship. Knowing, accepting and loving yourself is the first step. Getting to know your partner is the second one. Once you do, meeting each others expectations will be easier. But don’t be lazy, don’t expect them to make you happy and be angry when they don’t. 

3. Good relationships don’t take work

Healthy and good relationship will naturally and most of the time make you feel good. However, all relationships take work. Check the quality of your relationship by asking yourself the question: does this relation make me more joyful and healthy mentally and physically? If that is not the case improve your situation by getting to know yourself first. Find your own happiness by doing things you love. Once you are happier you are more likely to understand your partner and their perspective. Once you are clear on what they need from you – you can evaluate and decide on next steps. You will get there through effective communication. Whether or not you stay with your partner, you will become much wiser and stronger.

4. Once in a relationship you should be inseparable

Another huge lie. A mistake I’ve made number of times, and despite the fact I knew deep inside we were spending far too much time together and grown very reliant on each other, I didn’t know how to un-do it. I didn’t want to hurt his feelings and say ‘’I think you should get a life’’ : -) Now, I wish I said it much sooner. I became too many things to my partner and as a result had less time for myself. So the resentment has creeped in and we argued a lot. I felt like I have lost myself in the relationship. I’ve allowed myself to be too reliant upon and hardly ever found time to do what I love. Most people don’t realise that having your own circle of friends, own career path and hobbies is what will keep your relationship healthy and balanced. In fact it is as important as having love, respect and strong physical attraction. Distance is required for love to thrive so allow the space between you to make your connection stronger.

5. Things often get better on their own

Many of us have suffered from a heartache. Relationships problems are a common thing. That’s primarily because you are getting together with someone who is completely different to you and can’t control them. Don’t try either, it’s pointless. They will not change unless they want to change. Trying to change your partner or the way they think can cause frustration and even anger. The only way to resolve this is through calm, loving, open communication. Don’t criticise or patronise each other. Put yourself in their shoes and try to understand what they are trying to tell you. If you are upset, let go of your anger first. Go for a walk, a run or take few deep breaths. Continue talking when you are calmer.

If you feel you have grown apart, reserve some time for the two of you to go away and reconnect. This should remind you how things used to be at the start. If that doesn’t help try something else – like couple therapy or a more reliable childcare. Productive communication is the only way to understand your partner. Without that  contempt and resentment settles in and it becomes very difficult to respect, love and appreciate each other. 

Stay positive and love yourself x

Saving the sanity of a modern woman

Whether you are a stay at home mum, ambitious entrepreneur, part time employee or you sell products on Amazon – being a mum is the hardest task of them all. 

We are all aware of how motherhood can change our lives. However, apart from all the obvious changes, I feel that the lack of time and having tons of difficult choices to make can be very overwhelming too. Lack of time can be particularly painful for us women. The ability to make smart decisions or a lack of it, will quietly create your everyday reality before you realise it. Once that reality is created, there is nobody to blame for it but yourself. That’s the bad news. The good news is that you can always change the way you live your life. 

Raising above your circumstances and taking smart decisions can really make you thrive in life.

What would you give for a happy, fulfilling, balanced life? I know I would give a lot. I also know that it doesn’t come without a price tag and those who value it, will work for it – wether they are a woman or a man! 

While working hard on creating your perfect, balanced life, setting priorities, asking for help and making smart decisions is super important!

Having worked in professional corporate environment for the last 9 years, I’ve learned that standing out from the crowd, having courage to ask inconvenient questions, putting my needs above others, was rarely  welcomed. However, it did make me successful and highly rewarded further down the line. And higher pay check did make me happy. Learning to set my boundaries has earned me respect at work.

When the support around you is limited, self care is even more important. Once you invest in it, it will put you back on track in finding your inner balance, growing your confidence and becoming happier. 

Yet, as little girls, we are so often told to put the needs of others first..So we keep doing it until we start neglecting and hating ourselves, weirdly having expected that looking after others will make us happy!!!   What a complete and utter lie !

It then takes time to retrain your brain and start forming new healthy habits, so essential to be precisely what we want to be – a good mom, wife, employee or a boss.

Neglecting our needs can lead to more serious issues down the line, such as burn out, resentment toward your partner, loneliness, exhaustion or depression. We, moms need to relearn the art of self-care and self-love. We need to start small from doing what makes us happy, like dancing barefoot or going out with the girls.

We all deserve a lifestyle that will compliment our needs in the best way possible, but to get there we have to retrain our brains and change our thinking patterns. 

Men and women make their decisions differently. They take different factors and risks into consideration. Women are known to have a ‘’softer touch’’ and a less dominant persona in a corporate setting. We are also more risk averse and generally struggle to remove our emotions from decision making process. You could say that more often than men we ‘’think with our heart’’. 

Yet, despite the fact that women are known to be more loyal and dedicated employees to men, this doesn’t translate into their numbers in the boardroom.

We have the tendency to blame outdated male-dominated structures and ‘’old-school system’’ for this situation. Let’s be honest about it- could our lack of self-belief, self-confidence and taking too much on without pushing back, have something to do with it?

Knowing what you want from life, is an important step in getting it. Yet, so few of us know our needs, wants and values really well. It can be so confusing to discover we never took time to truly get to know ourselves. Very few of us have got there before we had our children. 

It’s usually by learning what annoys and irritates us that we learn what we really want in life. And that’s fine – as long as once we know it we articulate our needs.  Brushing them under the carpet is not going to change anything. Following a path of self-love and self-care will.

Einstein said the definition of insanity is doing the same things over and over and expecting different results.

Let’s prioritise and make smart, perhaps a little more selfish decisions. Let’s not look for excuses and waste energy complaining how tuff our life is… Nobody really cares.

Ladies, let’s be little more determined in reaching our goals and fulfilling our dreams. If we don’t, they will remain just that – our dreams!

5 simple ways of regaining control in your life

Life challenges us every day. It brings new choices, new decisions, dilemmas… As a result we evolve and change. We adapt to new conditions and learn from our experiences. Our life story is divided in years. Just like chapters in a book some years are interesting and some boring. Some bring happiness and excitement and some bring sad, unhappy news, which can set us back.

It’s our ability to adapt that defines the direction in which we are heading. Being adaptable and positive impacts how things unravel for us in the end. It’s not what happens but what you do that will make a real difference to your life. When it feels like it’s all too much to take in, it’s worth reminding yourself that it’s your life and despite what it might look like, you are in control of it. 

Here is how you regain that control

Accept things you can’t change

It takes some life experience to recognise things we can and can’t change. As much as we are able to improve our circumstances by adjusting our mindset and our attitude, we can’t change other people. Once you find this ‘’acceptance’’ you will start finding your inner balance. Getting rid of your expectations will help too. You can’t make someone love you. You are unlikely to help them unless they want to be helped. It’s much easier to focus on achieving your own goals and improving your life. If you really want your life to change, change your habits. Don’t blame or try to change others, as you wont succeed. Accept things that are out of your control.

When things get tuff, ask for help

We all have awful days. There are days when nothing goes to  plan. Reaching out to get an advise or help is not a sign of weakness but a sign of strength. A friend, business partner or a family member can give you a new, fresh perspective on things. A new pair of eyes may see things in a completely different light and offer a solution to what feels like a hopeless situation. It’s important to be open and learn from others. Knowing who and when to ask for help is a real life skill – a skill that most successful business people have mastered to perfection.

Things are never as bad as they seem

When things get really tuff; it’s always a good idea to step back and get some perspective. Change your scenery, go for a run or call a friend. Do something! Don’t sit alone and wonder when things are going to get easier. They rarely get easier on their own. It’s important to take action and focus on finding a solution, not focusing too much on the problem, as the universe will send you more of what you think about. When you step back you will be able to see things in a different light. A real life challenge might suddenly present itself as a new opportunity – one that is  worth considering. Physical exercise always helps in gaining balance as you ‘’get out your head’’ and connect with your heart. There is something positive in each situation, which brings me to the next point.

Embrace challenge and learn from it

I don’t believe in coincidence or bad luck. Every life experience, every person we meet brings something positive to our life. Usually it’s hard to see it this way at the time. The worst heartbreak is an opportunity to get to know yourself better and learn what we want and what we don’t in a relationship. A bad investment or failed business partnership could open doors to a brand new opportunity. A major work crisis might be the very reason why you set up your own business. In most cases have learned something about ourselves that we didn’t know before and that’s much better  than being in the same place in 3 years time.

Be the master of your thoughts 

Our mind is a powerful machine. It’s primary objective is to create and activate self-defence mechanism. Every day our past experiences create connections between our brain nerve cells. When we re-live the same experience these connections get stronger and quickly and subconsciously turn into thinking patterns, which generate our emotions. Our emotions create your actions and our actions create your everyday reality. Most of us trust our thoughts too much and don’t challenge them enough.

Only some of us are able to recognise when our thoughts don’t work to our advantage. That’s when your ‘’clever’’ head tries to prevent you from taking risks and making future mistakes. What we don’t realise is that the same head prevents us from growing and creating more exciting future for ourselves. Our brain wants to go back to what’s familiar even if it’s not good for us. It’s important to learn how to control your thoughts as that’s when you will control your happiness.

Life sends us on a journey that tests our strength, patience, relationships and our mental health. However, you are in control of your destiny! Love, health and wealth is inside you and all around you, you just need to invite it into your life.

Don’t let your past determine your future. 

5 real life facts about your mental health

In light of a major mental health crisis in the UK and growing number of suicides among adolescence, I feel there has never been a better time to share this. The title of this post is self-explanatory so I will get straight to the point.

1. Look after yourself, as nobody else will

This applies for both men and women all ages. In the hassle and bustle of today’s world is very easy to forget about your own needs. Whether is a busy job, long commute or a young family, everything else seems more important. To many of us finding your inner balance and meeting your needs might seem like a real luxury. However, in the long run it pays off to see it as a necessity, not a luxury. It’s only when we start feeling low, we realise that something is missing. We contemplate and try to understand why we are feeling depressed, overwhelmed or hopeless.

Often the answer to that is not obvious, although it often comes down to the fact we forget to look after ourselves. But we don’t seem to forget to look after others. Some parents reading this will know that only when you look after yourself you will be able to look after others well. And let’s be honest – we all do enough for others. So why not doing something for yourself once in a while – no matter how busy you are. The joy taken from small pleasures will give you strength and energy so much needed for the gloomy days. The alternative to that is getting stuck in our daily grind, one that we have alone created. If you are not sure what brings you the biggest joy take time to get to know yourself. It’s the best investment you can undertake!

2. Only when you love yourself you will be able to love others

It took me a while to understand this one, but now I do – it makes perfect sense. I used to really dislike myself. Despite looking half decent and having quite few good friends, I could easily think of hundred and one reasons why I don’t deserve a better career, better body or quite simply a better life! Amazingly I was able to convince myself that I can’t get these because I’m being me. Because I’m just average, attracting average things in life. I’m not ‘’destined’’ for real happiness, a meaningful relationship or a fulfilling career. It took me years to realize how wrong was I and finally start loving myself. And all that because of the crazy stories I have created in my head…

Jeez, the stories we tell ourselves!

When we don’t experience self-love we are full of criticism and negativity. We don’t like ourselves, so why would someone else like us? It’s not easy to like someone who is miserable, negative and has a problem to every solution. But loving yourself means being able to take things with a pinch of salt – and that takes courage and a good humour. We are all beautiful and unique in our own way. Let’s embrace it. Believe in yourself and realize how wonderful you are. Once you do, the world will notice it too!

3. When you spread positive energy, it will always come back to you

It will! Sometimes when you least expect it! It’s such a shame it took me years to realise it – but better late than never. I know life’s hard. I get it. It’s a real art to put a smile on your face when all you can think about is how much you hate your job or how fed up or exhausted you are. Life can feel so overwhelming.

But the truth is it’s much easier to change your circumstances when you change your attitude. That’s when everything changes. Wonderful things happen. You smile and people smile back. You focus on positive things and the universe sends you more positive things. It’s crazy how it works, but if you think about it, it’s very simple.

Establishing new positive thinking patterns will lead to taking positive action. This in return will lead to positive results and positive energy. And once you start spreading it, watch how many new friends you get. But it all originates from your thinking and acknowledging that we become what we think about. We should all learn how to control your thought. Once we do – sky is the limit!

4. Nothing lifts up your mood like physical exercise

Physical exercise releases oxytocin, the happiness hormone. No rocket science here. We all know about the multiple benefits of physical exercise. It’s not only good for your body but also for your soul. Yet, we seriously underestimate it. Life gets in the way and we very quickly we can end up feeling overwhelmed, stressed, frustrated, depressed or angry. But you know what – going for a run will put everything in perspective. The key thing is to be persistent.

No matter what your age or personal situation, create a new routine that works for you. It will only take few weeks and you will see a change in you. I love running outside. It works for me, as I feel connected with the nature. I enjoy looking at trees and breathing fresh air while running. You might be different. You might be into yoga or cycling – that’s fine. They key thing is that any exercise is better than none. It’s the most wonderful antidepressant there is. Make it your friend! It will transform your life.

5. You will only find real happiness when you are true to yourself

Many people live their lives though the expectations of others. They do jobs their parents want them to do. They marry someone their friends ‘’expect’’ them to marry. They practice religions they have been told to practice. And their paint their house the same paint their neighbors have. Many people are so busy working hard that they don’t take time to get to know themselves, to find out who they really and to get the clarity what they really want from life. Without sounding dramatic, that’s one of the biggest mistakes one can make.

All of us want to be happy, but very few of us have the courage to follow our dreams. It takes strength and little wisdom to accept that you are not going to be everyone’s friend. And guess what – that’s completely fine! Being true to yourself is so much more important. Free yourself from the world of expectations others impose on you. You are the master of your destiny.

Happiness is a choice not a destination!

The power of self-expression and the courage to be disliked

They say communication is key.

Yet we use our words so freely and often without thinking what message we are sending across. Reviews, opinions and likes take first place ahead of good old fashioned conversation. Today’s communication has taken a different form. It’s no longer face-to-face yet everyone seems to know what we are up to. That’s the power of online.

We live our lives through Facebook and Instagram. We share so much online that good conversation doesn’t stand a chance. Sadly it turns out not to be good for anyone. We feel increasingly more lonely, isolated and misunderstood. We miss true love and friendship.The huge effect today’s social media has on people’s lives is hard to avoid. Words are cheap. And so is online abuse. But is there a way we can remove the damaging effect these negative words and emotions have on our lives?

Why are young people more prone to follow trends on social media and be more affected by them?

I have recently read about Austrian philosopher Alfred Adler. Adler believes it’s not our problem if someone doesn’t like us and we have nothing to do with it. There is no point trying to change it either. The only way to be free and happy is to separate your tasks from other people tasks and focus on your own higher purpose.

And what do we gain by acting in this way? Well, with time we gain peace of mind, internal balance and freedom in the way we live our lives. The last one is certainly appealing. The cost of living our live according to somebody else’s values is very high and can have very negative effect on us long term. It’s very important to get to know yourself and understand what your highest values are.

And what do we gain by acting in this way? Well, with time we gain peace of mind, internal balance and freedom in the way we live our lives. The last one is certainly appealing. The cost of living our live according to somebody else’s values is very high and can have very negative effect on us long term. It’s very important to get to know yourself and understand what your highest values are.

What does honesty mean to you? Do you appreciate other people being honest with you?

Facebook gives us an opportunity to create a very appealing but fake fantasy world. It gives us all a chance to be perceived by others as more attractive, happier versions of ourselves. Some of us create this new world or go one step further and start believing in it. Others use Facebook purely for business purposes and don’t share any personal details with the world. I also know few people who decided to leave social media for good. The key thing is to have a balanced approach to people and life. The courage to be happy also includes the courage to be disliked.

I have recently read a fantastic book by Fumitake Koga and Ichiro Kishimi. The title is ‘’The courage to be disliked’’. I found it to be an extremely interesting, helpful and reassuring source of information. The book is about how to free yourself from the opinions of others, how to be true to yourself and find your inner balance. The effect the book has had on me was like a reassuring pat on the back. It was like a good old friend telling me that I’m doing well. I highly recommend it to everyone looking for balance, happiness or the perfect self-expression.

Honesty is a very expensive gift. Don’t expect it from cheap people.’’ – Warren Buffett

The subject of online and offline communication is a wide one and it will certainly not be exhausted in one blog post. However I do hope you found it useful. Please let me know if you did. Remember that if someone dislikes you it’s a proof that you are exercising your freedom and living in accordance with your own principles. Equally your unhappiness cannot be blamed on your past or your environment.

Most of us don’t lack competence, we are lacking the courage to be happy.

The beauty of outsourcing

‘’If your habits don’t line up with your dream, then you need to either change your habits or change your dream’’ – John Maxwell.

How to best define a well run and successful business? A business where profits are predicted, staff is motivated and thighs run smoothly..How do you measure your success? Is it based on your last quarter’s sales figures? Or perhaps positive guest reviews and high staff retention? How involved are you in daily running of your business and is it time to change it?

All these questions play a crucial role in defining the ultimate goal for you and your company. You choose to ignore these and you might find yourself struggling for time on a daily basis and your staff unable to cope without you. In the long term this might cause more serious issues, lower your profits, affect your staff retention and customer service and lower your life satisfaction..

‘’If you don’t  find a way to make money while you sleep, you will work until you die’’ – Warren Buffett

There is some truth in this.. Following this thought further and having run and spoken to many business owners I dare to say a successful business is one that runs itself, without a major contribution from his owner.

How would you describe your perfect work day? Imagine a day where you start from dropping kids to school, followed by some exercise and high value tasks completed before lunchtime. You didn’t even look at your emails once. 

You go to a few meetings in the afternoon and take time discussing growth strategy with your business partner. So far you have spent 20 minutes looking at your emails and didn’t receive any sales calls. You also didn’t do any boring admin whole day! You finish your day not feeling overwhelmed, tired, confused or angry. Your physical health is stronger and your personal relationships benefit as a result. 

If that sounds like the right direction to go, you might wonder why do business owners not invest more time and money in learning how to outsource, systemise and leverage with the purpose of gaining more time and more freedom? 

It puzzles me that so many of them are happy sticking to their roles of an employee in their own business. They are the ideal employee they would want to hire – one that is working much harder and longer hours than anyone else. Oh, and one that’s never taking any long holiday.

Perhaps they don’t know any better??

It’s only through outsourcing and systemising your processes that you can achieve your ultimate goal and increase the chances of selling your business in the future. Nobody wants to buy a firm with an old boss in it. Only once you master the art of delegating and outsourcing you will gain more time and get a real peace of mind that you deserve.

‘’Chains of habit are too light to be felt until they are too heavy to be broken’’ – Benjamin Franklin 

So don’t wait! Start small. 

It’s shift of your mindset and change of your habits. And we people are creatures of habit!

SOS in time of social media crisis

We all know how hard it is to break into a new environment – a new school, new social circle or make friends at work. This seems to be even harder for someone young, lacking life experience.

So how should we support young people? How do we teach them to stay true to themselves and express their uniqueness in a confident way? We are social animals and we all desire similar things. We want to have loyal friends, loving partners and meaningful work. We all need a sense of purpose in our lives.

As we grow older the last one becomes very important. The need of being liked and accepted for a teenager is much more profound than for a thirty year old professional with established career and family ties.

Everyday our children are given a wide variety of choices. With or without our consent, they decide who to be friends with, who to follow on Twitter or what music to listen to. Finding balance and happiness becomes even harder.

We connect with people by sharing things we have in common. We share opinions, views and experiences. This used to happen face-to-face but today vast majority of it happens online. This is where the power of social media kicks in. There is a strong need to impress others and gain their approval.

The worrying bit is that it’s not easy for kids to recognise when something is fundamentally bad for them. Protecting their mental health becomes our number one priority.

In light of poor work-life balance, long work commute and financial pressure, parents best intentions are often not put into practice. Close child-parent relationship is essential however, it’s also up to siblings, friends, teachers and communities to keep youth strongly grounded.

Parents can’t do it singlehandedly – no matter how much time they spend with their kids.

Mental illness can be very sneaky. Without the expert knowledge, it’s easy to make matters worse by using the wrong method to connect with a child. Emotions can easily take over and before you know it, all that’s coming across is frustration or anger, not sympathy and support. Being determined to succeed parents can also give conditions. This can cause more damage than good. To someone who is anxious and feels misunderstood this can be a final nail in the coffin.

It can cause them to be more withdrawn and disconnected from the outside world. We need to face the reality. Our kids need us more than ever before. They are unlikely to tell us this, but they need our help to stay safe and sane! This is especially important now, when social media has such a huge outreach and impact.

Over the last couple of years youth’s mental health has become a significant issue. It’s now an issue on a large scale that urgently needs more attention. The only way we can make a difference is to be united.

Teaching children to talk about feelings can’t solve the problem but can be of a massive help. This openness and ability to speak up will result in our kids becoming confident and happy adults. Let’s teach our children to express their feelings. They will be able to stand their ground and protect themselves.

Showing emotions is a sign of strength, not weakness. Bottling them up could have a very damaging effect long term. Let’s not rely on GPs and medical experts to look after our kids. The right help might never come.

Let’s create better mental health awareness. There is only one place where it can start – at home and in our communities.

Those who bring sunshine into the lives of others, cannot keep it from themselves

Hey, how are you?

I’m Lisa. It’s nice to see you here.

I’m a writer, deep thinker, empowered happy woman and an empath at heart. I’m passionate about relationships, human psychology and the power of positive thinking. I love sport, nature and art, but above all – I love helping people. I do it naturally and it makes me very happy.

You might wonder why I’m here…

Well, in the last two years I’ve learned more about depression, relationships, life challenges and finding your inner strength than ever before. These two years have been a huge learning curve and a real game changer. I’m very grateful they have happened.

I used to suffer with severe depression which has hugely impacted how I saw and related to myself and the world around me. It was a very dark period of my life, a period full of sadness, self doubt and tears. I’ve gone through all this without any antidepressants, counselling and with very limited help from others. While battling everyday’s challenges I was convinced there is a better way to live, so I was determined to find my happy place.

I have started slowly and carefully. Opening to others and taking about experience made me realise I’m not alone. I’ve started reading , writing and exercising. I reconnected with my heart. Slowly I began to understand my feelings, my behaviour, fears and dreams. Since then my life has changed tremendously.

I became my own best friend – one I can always rely on.

I’ve realised I don’t need anyone to be happy. Instead I need to create my own happiness within me. I have learnt how to let go of my negative experiences and not allow my past to define me. I have realised that people I surround myself with can really contribute to my physical and mental health. For that reason I began to be more selective whom I spend my time with. I’ve completely changed my idea of friendship and a romantic relationship.

I have stoped relying on others to be happy.

The new me is positive, compassionate and determined to make my dreams come true. I’m now a great believer in the power of the universe. I’m confident that the universe supports us in giving us exactly what we ask for but we need to be open to accept it and loose our fear.

The idea for the blog was born from my pure desire to share my life lessons and try to help others on their journey.

This is why I’ve called it ”Lisa’s golden nuggets” .

So welcome! I’m here for you. I hope you will find my posts interesting and useful.

Love and wisdom x


#mental health